I Want To Serve, But I Am Scared.. Is That OK?

I have donated money, I have prayed and I have been inspired by missionaries. At many points in my life, I have even felt I wanted to drop everything and serve the Lord. However, I go to work comfortably every day and have not really done anything like that......

It is one thing to say I want to serve, and to read verses like; “Go ye into all the world and preach the Gospel to every creature.” (Mark 16:15; Luke 24:46-48; Acts 1:8; 2 Corinthians 5:20) and fully believe in your heart that if you had more money or time you would do it and to actually do it.

There is no turning back for me now. My flight is booked and the papers are signed. I am heading to Guatemala and I AM TERRIFIED!

At first it was all exciting and prayers that we would actually be able to go and then it happened. I started researching the country, the crime, the gangs and every possible horrible thing that could happen to me. God and I have been having these heart to heart talks lately; " Lord are you sure this is what I am supposed to be doing, Lord I am scared, Lord I am just one person will I really be any help at all in a country that has been so devastated.

I am not afraid to write this, because I am not afraid to be real about my relationship with God. It is ok to be scared that this country doesn’t have toilet paper, and that they serve their chicken with the feet attached. It is ok to be scared that every article I read tells me not to go out after dark, not to carry a map and not to take a purse. O and not to ask for help from the Police because most of them are corrupt and involved in the violence of the country. Jesus was afraid, and God showed him how to fight.

The book of John is my go to... but for the next couple weeks I will start by reading the last chapter. It says, “come now let us leave,” basically Jesus is saying come on let’s go to work! We are in God’s plan to let us leave, not let us stay.

Fight how Jesus fought, he didn’t live in a let us stay world. Jesus came so he could leave; leave the idea that anything on this earth is a better way!

So of course I will continue to read all about the terrible horrible things that could happen in Guatemala or even here in Nashville but I will remember what Jesus said, “Come now let us leave.”

In him,

Nelly